Strange, isn’t it? For some of us feminism and chivalry may be the two sides of a coin, showing one at a time, but it is not always the case. We often miscalculate the vigor of these words- ‘feminism’, ‘chivalry’ and ‘sexism’.  I strongly believe that these words hold a deep insight when pondered upon. Chivalry does not necessarily have to fall for feminism to rise. In fact, the word chivalry has been misunderstood all these years.

Chivalry originally was coined by the medieval knightly system as a religious, moral, and social code. It is complicated, difficult, and not specifically about defending women because women are weak. Let’s get it this way, Chivalry is literally just “rules for if you have a horse.” In the middle ages or the age of chivalry men with horses were considered the chivalrous and civility was all about defending those who don’t own horses.

It’s 2017 now. Women can own as many horses they want.

Real courtliness, therefore, is about noticing when you have a horse and somebody doesn’t. It’s not about to crush the inferior just because you can. It’s about holding the door for the person in a wheelchair, and it is clearly NOT about treating women like a delicate flower.

I have this friend who, after a few attempts, managed to make it to her dream job. Recently, I was at dinner with a couple, celebrating, where her boyfriend constantly kept saying “Baby I am so proud of you, you were able to get through those toughest interviews! Women don’t easily make it through these processes.” (with an extra emphasis on ‘women’). He was not just happy because she got into that IT firm but because of the sake of her being a woman. As complicated as these F-words are, they are more frightening. Not only to the masculine population but to most of the feminine part too.

Strange, isn’t it? For some of us feminism and chivalry may be the two sides of a coin, showing one at a time, but it is not always the case. We often miscalculate the vigour of these words- ‘feminism’, ‘chivalry’ and ‘sexism’.  I strongly believe that these words hold a deep insight when pondered upon. Chivalry does not necessarily have to fall for feminism to rise. In fact, the word chivalry has been misunderstood all these years.

Chivalry originally was coined by the medieval knightly system as a religious, moral, and social code. It is complicated, difficult, and not specifically about defending women because women are weak. Let’s get it this way, Chivalry is literally just “rules for if you have a horse.” In the middle ages or the age of chivalry men with horses were considered the chivalrous and civility was all about defending those who don’t own horses.

It’s 2017 now. Women can own as many horses they want.

Real courtliness, therefore, is about noticing when you have a horse and somebody doesn’t. It’s not about to crush the inferior just because you can. It’s about holding the door for the person in a wheelchair, and it is clearly NOT about treating women like a delicate flower.

I have this friend who, after a few attempts, managed to make it to her dream job. Recently, I was at dinner with a couple, celebrating, where her boyfriend constantly kept saying “Baby I am so proud of you, you were able to get through those toughest interviews! Women don’t easily make it through these processes.” (with an extra emphasis on ‘women’). He was not just happy because she got into that IT firm but because of the sake of her being a woman. As complicated as these F-words are, they are more frightening. Not only to the masculine population but to most of the feminine part too.

Vaishnavi Agrawal
Carrying a soft spot for both art and artists, Vaishnavi happens to be a dreamer by day and writer by night. She is hopelessly romantic and a voracious foodie, rarest of its type.
Poetry, music and coffee are the three things she lives for.
She believes that we all are lost because we are free.

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